so a year of hard work has come and gone. for those of you who don't already know my yearly dance recitals concluded tonight. the first was last night and then we had our second tonight.
friday night was very eventful...a complete different story, perhaps to be revealed at a later time. and i slept a very restless night indeed. i got up fairly early to get ready for rehearsal and spent most of the day at the school. rehearsals were okay. my basket of rose petals for my modern dance was left at the studio so i had an imaginary basket.
so recital was at 7. i got back at the school around 5:30 to get my hair done and such. recital did not go as well as i wished it would have. i was pretty down. i messed up and had wardrobe malfunctions( headpiece falling off in acro. number). everyone assured me i had done fine, you couldn't tell. but that doesn't matter, i hadn't done my best and that killed me. i knew that i would be devastated if sunday wasn't flawless. my parents were there along with my two uncles, aunt, and grandma. i got flowers. yay. chrissy was there. i lover her so much. she is so supportive. and guess who actually showed up- andy. yes my best friend actually came-and didn't fall asleep. we went out to eat afterwards with some other friends. it was fun.
so i slept even more restlessly saturday night. there was so much on the line for tonight. so ballet number comes and goes fairly well. jazz goes wonderfully. ensemble with brad was amazing. modern was beautiful(except i realized ten minutes later i had forgotten my arm bands...but whatever i come out separately....so take that). as the curtains closed, i thought to myself yes i'm on the right path. acrobatics dance was beautiful- no malfunctions. curtains close for act two. one more to go. tap dance was successful. i walked off stage ecstatic. sunday was as flawless as it could have been. i had redeemed myself. i did it.
so i'm bruised in weird places. i'm drained physically and mentally. i'm walking like a hobo because my calves are killing me. i have weird stretch mark-esque things on my upper left thigh. i put my whole heart and soul into this.
and as next year's dance season is about to start-hello pointe...here i come! i realize that i have so much more to give. i am growing. this is possible. this is me bitches. this is it for me. never have i been so nervous. never have i felt so successful. never have i had the adrenaline rush (except when i meet shawn harris and especially that last encounter of connectivity) but anyway. here i am. i can do this now. i should have learned my lesson about doubt from reading sidney poitier's book. but i am only human. i doubled my dances from last year and i have learned so much. not just about dance, but also myself. i can not wait for the next recital...i want to learn so much more. it's time to raise my standards.
"may your organs fail before your dreams fail you..." little maggots by the matches
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