this goes out to the people who fight for what they love...

ghostland observatory.

so to start out. i ended up having to go by myself. everyone else in this small town is lame. but whatever. much to my dismay we left an hour after i would have liked to and stopped at ihop along the way (i mean i love ihop too. but come on.) doors opened at nine. i wanted to get there at the latest 7:30 beacuse that's the way i roll. no lie i almost had a panic attack more than once. okay maybe i'm obsessive, but that's how i get front row. ya know? anyway we don't get to dc until like 5 till 8. mom typed in the wrong street name so until i finally convinced them something was wack we drove around in circles. get to 9:30 club at like 8:25. i was shocked to say the least. only four people were in front of me in line. was karma rewarding me for something? beacuse that was a miracle.

got up front of course. made friends with a thirty-some couple. real nice. for the first 30 minutes there weren't more than 40 people in the club. by 9:30 people start to trickle in. some dj dude opens. people roll in while he's playing and club ends up being packed. hell yes ghostland observatory. we love you. so he's nto a bad dj or anything but he played for more than an hour. me and the couple kept checking our watches. a little after 11 ghostland observatoy finally takes the stage.

can we say love? being a dancer, of course i love aaron for his continuous moves. the whole club was dancing. it was thrilling. aaron starts doing some little crotch thrust thing near me. i was like woo. there was fog and lasers the whoel time. really neat. but it very much hindered my photo taking ability. the photos still look really neat even though they are fucked up. i took some videos too, but they're really bouncing-because as i said before-the whole club was dancing. ghostland observatory puts on an amazing show and they are great live. unbelievable.

so i made eye contact with thomas. got a smile. hell yes. aaron kept dancing right in front of me. i picked the best spot. lovely. i was in front of this speaker thing and aaron would like prop his foot up on it and sing a lot and he had to cross over it to go to the other side. he was so close the entire time i could have touched him constantly. he said down on the speaker twice and sang and i got one of the times on video. i was in awe. he grabbed my hand one time (that ended up on video too). at ther very end, he like leaned into the crowd and in the process his shirt got unbuttoned and his sexy little chest was available for everyone to gaze upon (needless to say. that ended up on video somehow also.)

the most important part of the concert may have been this fact. they are from austin, texas. and of course you can't tell from their music. well, a certain fact that i discovered the first time i saw them-on austin city limits- had slipped my mind. aaron's accent. country. but not redneck country. adorable country. he made the comment one time along the lines of: dc is great. usually when we come out we have to kind of marinate the crowd a bit- but when we came out you guys were already roasting on the barbeque pit. for the first time in my life i love a country accent. okay- so probably just his. but for the first time, i was happy i was raised in little ole nowhere. (a creepy side note: the shirts that i got have a suna nd a cloud below them. the cloud is virginia in reverse. i swear. i looked in the mirror and i was like that's virginia. and everyone agrees.)

without a doubt one of the best shows i've been too. in aaron's honor i've been rocking braids for almost two weeks. i might try a different hairstyle tomorrow. but i'm bringing sexy braids back with aaron. yes so i'm wack. i think someone is hott so i emulate their style. watev. so if you don't know who ghostland observatory is-go check those boys out. who ever thought two guys could create music so powerful. olivia loves her some ghostland observatory and some hot braid wearing, aviator glasses, killer dancer, country accented lead singer named aaron. and of course that killer cape wearing, keyboard playing, drum banging, synthesyzing genius named thomas. thank you ghostland observatory for creating dance music with meaning.

but nothing's as it seems...

i'm afraid i may be becoming a bit obssesive about this whole escape the fate thing...i guess that's what happens when you have too much free time. i was thinking about all the amazing concert experiences i've had so i thought i'd write them down...as i said before i have too much free time. in chronological order starting from most recent:
1. papa roach/hinder/12 stones-nothing really eventful-i was in the front. in a civic center though. ewww
2. gym class heroes/plain white t's/fall out boy/cute is what we aim for-so i went with this chick. wish i would have gone with other people. civic center again. ew. we got seats. hated that too. but tyga performed. i love that kid. and i did get to see de jesus and my travie. could have been way better though.
3. wayne newton-yeah with my grandmother. i enjoyed it. might have been the youngest person there. im bitchin. donkey shame.
4.my chemical romance/muse: civic center type of place in williamsburg. went with my cuz and her friend. we got seats-weren't down in the area at the stage. but it was still cool. mikey had just gotten married, so he wasn't there. but the black parade puts on a great show. so does muse.
5.the junior varisty/some other small local bands-i first saw the junior varsity at flipside festival so it was cool to see them again. they performed in this little coffee shop. very intimate. maybe fifty people. kick ass. got to meet them and get some pics. very nice.
6. epitaph tour: the matches/escape the fate/the higher/i am ghost- probably the best and most eventful concert ive ever fucking attended. the matches headlined. i was right up against the stage. ended up with bruises on my thighs. the higher: face was right in front of me. made eye contact a lot. hottt. he has the collest little dance moves. he did this little back bend thing and he was like staring right at me. cause i was there, ya know? seth's crotch was very close to my face a few times, but that wasn't a big deal. i'll explain later. i got a pic with face later-he remembered me and was really sweet. i am ghost- kickin performance. got a water bottle from the guitarist. steven ended up being really personable along with the rest of the band. escape the fate: ronnie drenched the first row in water numerous times. omar grabbed my head(like in the not good enough for truth in cliche video where he grabs max's).ended up getting a bitching picture with max even though i look uber gross. eye contact is always fun at concerts especially when you're right against the stage. i had omar and max asses and crotches right at my face a lot. ronnie cock there too. very enjoyable. he's so damn hott. the matches-i talked to ben and was like i'm going to take your job one day and he was like ok then. cool. eye contact with shawn. got pics with all my boys of course. i got a guitar pick. do i even have to say it? more packages in my face. jon a few times. mainly shawn's. i'm not complaining. kind of arkward but who cares. i almost got choked. shawn jumped up on the little box beside me and kind of behind and his mic cord was pushin against the front of my neck and i was having to lean back and it was liek choking me and the girl behind me helped me pull it off. a little scary. but when i die i wouldn't mind it being a good story like that. shawn and jon did an acoustic scratched out. everyone was in a circle around them and of course we were all singing along. well this one part comes up and shawn is looking at me and like coming over(hard to explain. you kind of had to be there. ask chrissy) and i was like and compulsively charging cds to my account and it was like me and shawn singing it to each other. that probably makes no senses. oh well chrissy knows what happened. take my word for it. it was amazing.
7. the matches/ +44- i got a water bottle and pick from the guitarist of plus 44. he must have liked me. got pics with my boys of course. before the concert just happened to be parking. who is standing there? justin and shawn. so we get out and i'm so liek excited/nervous. ahhhhh. gets pics. odd conversation where shawn is talking about how the guy wouldn't put cheese on his gyro.
8. flipside festival- too many bands to name. my first matches show. yay. shawn climbed up on the fence. i was like love. got to meet them. went back twice. it was love at first sight. autographs galore. yay. this was back in the jon with no hair days. shawn with that cute hacked off hair-do with that blonde section. met motion city soundtrack. transition was a band i fell in love with that. too bad they broke up. got a broken bllody toenail. hardcore. it didn't grow back right till like last summer. started raining right before motion city soundtrack goes on. i talked my friend into staying for that. relient k was up next and after them was suagrcult- the big finale. needless to say i didn't get to see either. it was only like one more hour. i mean come on. oh well.

i'll end there. i have two concerts coming up in the next week and i get to see my boys the 15. i can't wait. i'm sure i'll have more deatils. i doubt anything can be better than that epitaph tour show, but i'll keep attending concerts no matter what. who knows when something like that will happen again...

you said that if you saw your star then you would die. and there's only one star out tonight. maybe it's mine...

i honestly can't tell you why i'm writing this. but if you are an escape the fate fan then maybe this will seem relevant to you. if you aren't an escape the fate fan you just haven't had the pleasure of being exposed to them yet. poor sheltered you. anyway... i saw escape the fate last feburary on the epitaph tour. i went to see the matches of course, and i liked the higher quite a bit. seeing escape the fate was a rad experience. i was intrigued. over the summer especially i really got into them. not to mention that ronnie radke. he is one fine piece of work. for a good while now they have been in my like top three most listened to bands i do believe. there is something about their music that just evokes this sense of somthing, this unnameable feeling. you know? if you go look at my post titles you will discover many escape the fate lyrics. ronnie's voice is amazing and the lyrics are uber beast to say the least. they've influenced me a good deal i suppose. i'm probably rambling but i don't give a fuck at the moment. omar...for those of you who don't know...guy who grabbed my head...left the band a while ago. but now ronnie is gone. he got into some bad shit. if you want the details, go read it for yourself beacuse i'm not here to focus on incidents like that. bands are never the same without the lead singer. unless he sucks. which in ronnie's case couldn't be futher from the truth. fuck the shit that happened. it was wack. i love that ronnie radke. there is not a kid as hot with eyeliner and tattoos anywhere on this planet. he is pure rocker. there is something to be said about people like that. i hope one day things will work out for ronnie and his musical talents will be released to the world again. until then play those escape the fate songs. i'm not usually a big fan of their kind of music, but there is something about escape the fate...listen to them and you'll know what i mean. two final comments. escape the fate is(was) a bitchin band. i fucking love ronnie radke. anyone who thinks any less of him now fo the shit that happened needs to go curl up in a cave and rot to death. music-his music and talent is what matters and is what he should be known for.

the world is moving everywhere but here, so load my van. destination: nowhere near

to quote escape the fate: i hate to be the one to bear the bad news. yes, it is true. i finally fell in love. so- this beautiful thing right here is my baby. people who know me well know i've been wanting a voltzwagon van since i was itsy bitsy. i really can't remember what got me hooked on them- maybe it was too much scooby-doo and mystery machine exposure... i named him tim in honor of the guy we bought it from. tim roberts was his name and the whole experience was way too rad to be true. tim roberts was one of the nicest people i could ever hope to meet. but back to my tim. he's a 77. i think he's going to stay his hue of white for a while becuase i'm digging it now. he's in such good shape it's shocking. i must be running upon some luck because finding one of these bad boys looking this good is not an easy task by any means. tim has lots of cool details like a front seat that swivles. but if you know me. i'm sure you will find out all the tidbits from my sweet little mouth or from exposure to tim himself. tim does have one flaw- he's a stick shift. olivia needs to master this whole thing before she can really love tim with all her heart. after all, right now olivia and tim are unable to spend any alone time together. but soon. very soon my love.

for your information: other kick ass (like bruce lee) things happened this weekend- but i figured i needed to dedicate a whole blog post to tim. after all he is my one true love.

what will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?

i must dedicate this blog to ironic incidents, weird coincidences, whatever you wish to call them. i limit my accounts to a select few. who knows, one of these blogs might pop up again in the future. so, one of these little events occured yesterday, and i felt what better time to compile all my coincidences than now. they never seemed to be of enough substance to dedicate individual blogs to, so here be randomness that dates back a good while, some of which may come off as pure stupidity. what can i say?

today: i had a dream about gomez on saturday night in which he had gotten a hair cut. low and behold who comes into class today with a shorter do? take a guess.

heath ledger: i was on the bus the morning after heath ledger's death and was talking to my bff about his movies. another girl asked what i was talking about. i said the paramedics found him dead with... just as those words escape my mouth, an ambulance whizzes by our bus. needless to say, we were both a little freaked out.

mikey: me and my bff were on the bus and happened to have been talking about people who used to ride our bus(one being mikey) and somehow rather jokingly a comment was made along the lines of "oh, yeah, i have the hots for that kid." we look out the bus window and who is pulled up in a car? somehow during this, the button of my pants pops off. ironic, much?

decomposer: this is the weirdest one for me. maybe i look into things too much. maybe. the matches are my favorite band. andy had gotten me decomposer a month or so in advance. but of course me being who i am, i don't feel like i actually have the cd until i'm holding the real thing- shawn harris artwork and all. well, this thing i'd been waiting for for ages comes out tuesday. andy goes to the hospital with a severe concussion that day. and then it happens. iboo dies wednesday. something so great counteracted with something so tragic.

so...a band in hope comes out march 18...andy got me the cd about a month ago...i'm kind of apprehensive...i'm wack, i know... just, if something happens i can say i knew it would go this way...i'll call it ummmmm my attempt at comfort? reassurance?...hell if i even know anymore.

if we were a pair of jigsaw puzzle pieces we would connect so perfectly.

i found out last night some news from leeanne that made me sad to say the least. we all know how much olivia loves her little dance friends. long story. complicated story. but one of my favorite little ones is no longer a dancer at leeanne's studio. maddie. no classes. no ensemble. no recital. out. well my favorite little friend. bella. bella and maddie are cousins and good friends (remind me of jordy and me back in the day) well, bella can get annoyed by maddie and this became even more evident to me at the convention a few weekends back. maddie strives for attention and can come off very pushy and clingy. bella didn't seem too upset. after all, i'm sure she realizes wrongs were done. also she loves dance and leeanne and everyone connected to the studio. we both share the same dream of owning our own studio-she wants to take over leeanne's. i understand why leeanne had to let maddie go even though it saddens me. i love leeanne and owe her so much. so of course i would side with her anyway. and even if things don't play out the way i think they should, i'll stand by her. i know this stuff tears her up. leeanne is one of the loveliest people i've ever had the pleasure of meeting and she gives so much and puts so much into the studio. i could sing her praise for days. the nerve of some people though. what upset me most though was the fact leeanne is seriously contemplating letting bella go after this year. i know that wrong was commited by bella's mother. but unlike maddie, bella hasn't done anything seriously wrong at all. plus she has so much potential. she impresses me everyday. next year she will be on pointe if she is at leeanne's. that's a big deal. i want to be on pointe, damn it. i understand leeanne's point. and i'm not just favoring bella. i think she should get to stay. sure, you have to deal with parents of your students. and maybe if i am in the same situation as leeanne one day i will understand her positioning more. but i know how much this means to bella and i don't think she should have to be punished for her mother's actions. i mean what can she do? she's like nine. talk back to yo momma and yo momma will yank you out of dance. i get it. i hope she is back next year. nothing will be as fun without maddie, but if bella leaves it'll take a chunk out of my heart. cause i connect with her and she means a hell of a lot to me. i hope things will play out in whatever way is best for bella. i can't think of anything being better than leeanne's though. oh bella, if you only knew.

in a car with a girl, promise me she's not your world 'cause andy, you're a star in nobody's eyes but mine

i have a new favorite poem. i can't put into words how much i adore this poem. i also realized it should have been written for my bff. i showed it to him and was like "who does this remind you of?" his response after reading it- you know me way too well. damn right i do.
it's raining in love:
i don't know what it is,
but i distrust myselfwhen i start to like a girl
a lot.

it makes me nervous.
i don't say the right things
or perhaps i start
to examine,
evaluate,
compute
what i am saying.

if i say, "do you thing it's going to rain?"
and she says "i don't know,"
i start thinking: does she really like me?

in other words
i get a little creepy.

a friend of mine once said,
"it's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

i think he's right and besides,
it's raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
that's all taken care of.

BUT

if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if i give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"do you think it's going to rain?"
and i say, "it beats me,"
and she says, "oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue california sky,
i think: thank god, it's you, baby, this time
instead of me.
---richard brautigan