You're the type of guy to take home to Mom, if my momma was dead.

Little kids never cease to amaze. I just wish everyone could be as real as they are. Their pureness and sincerity is evident in everything they do. There is a little group in particular that I am referring to: my acrobatics class. I'll be honest. As far as people go... that's the class I look forward to the most. I should feel so awkward. I mean I'm sixteen and I'm just learning to do a cartwheel. These girls are half my age and should be laughing their asses off at me but instead they encourage. Every little success of mine is shared with all of them. On Friday, for the first time, I came up from a back bend on my knees by myself and was then enveloped in a group hug. It was the sweetest thing that has happened in a long time. Dance means... well everything to me and to know that I have made some great friends of all ages thrills me beyond compare. I mean it's odd. The whole dance studio situation is like a family in it's own. Like the mob without all the violence. The more people that I get to dance with, the more I feel included in the family. Hell, I think I'm finally a made member. And the other thing that fascinates me about these younger kids is the fact that they want to be there. Some girls in my older classes just don't seem to understand that it is a team effort. The four year olds can understand that. Why can't they? But anyway... I think that my dance teacher's mom is starting to see how much this all means to me and that's good because I see her as the toughest critic for some reason...but hey it's about time! I mean the flag should have gone up when I decided to better myself by taking two classes with kids half my age. (Best decision I have made in a long time) It just feels good to see that people are noticing. This is my life. My love. My passion. And one day, all these small triumphs will show their importance. Every day I inch closer to The Revolution Dance Studio is a day I throw myself into full heartily. I've found it. I've found me and damn it feels good.

My weakness is that I care too much.

I shall run the risk of sounding a bit hypocritical myself and blatantly profess my annoyance with a certain hypocrite. Why I am so concerned with the person, I shall never know I suppose. I was alerted the other night to her feelings in a little poem she read. As it progressed, I thought she was speaking about herself and so when it was completed I went over to talk to her and offer my listening ear and comfort if needed. When I asked who it had been about she seemed to get uncomfortable and didn't want to tell me. At that moment I felt like Desdemona when she realizes her beloved Othello is to kill her. Shit, it's about me I thought, but I kept pressuring in hopes that maybe I was wrong. Well as she leaves, in the most elementary school way possible, she turns around and says "it's about you." Reflecting back upon the poem, I still can't quite figure it out. I want a copy to analyze and view objectively or something. Tomorrow in the most non confrontational way possible I'm just going to act normal and sit beside her at lunch and ask to see it. I find it all very childish and egotistical of her. I mean I've viewed our situation objectively in the past and I know I've done wrong. I've admitted my mistakes though. And even if I hadn't patched things up then, I would still respect her. When I think of all the things I've done for her (words from her own mouth) I just become more appalled by this whole event. Further analysis points to the soul root of the problem- her lack of trust in me. One of my other friends has a nasty habit of saying that so and so said this and so and so said that. Nine times out of ten so and so didn't say shit. Well my friend chooses to believe this other person over me. About a month ago I made the choice to distance myself from the other friend in hopes of strengthening the friendship with the one I actually cared about. As I see now, some things will never change. Some people are too gullible and that's something I can't fix no matter how hard I want to try. All I can do at this point is either let go and save myself the worry or fight for a lost cause. I choose the latter because as Kanye West says " For me giving up's way harder than trying." And no matter what she thinks or what other people may tell her, no one seems to know my side, the side where I care. I know I may a bitch and a tough ass and whatever else, but I've never stabbed someone in the back by letting them down and I don't plan to start now. Even if she plans on me letting her down and she wants me to give up, it's not going to happen because I have my morals to live up to. So I guess I'm not a hypocrite after all.