dreams. lately i have been plagued with them. i'm not saying this is a bad thing. this is just an odd thing for me. like seriously...what the fuck is going on in my head?
i'm in walmart with my mother and grandmother. the world is going to end in the matter of a few hours. there seems to be doubt among many people, but not enough doubt to let it go. it is like you know everything is going to be gone, but at that same time you hang on to that one fragment of hope that something will go wrong and everyone can go back to living normally. but anyway, everything is on sale. why the stores are still open is beyond me. maybe the people thought if they kept living normally, then nothing bad could happen. so, i'm anxious to get home, because i want two things. my dad and my locket with iboo's pictures.
we finally get home and at this point there are only two or three hours left. no one knows what to do. i've got my cell phone in hand, anxiously awaiting a text from dream crusher for some reason. no one is in the living room with me and i'm clutching my locket and thinking...how can this happen? and i feel like i've known for months and i'm still in denial that time could have passed so fast. and i stare out the window at the trees and i blink me eyes.
and i'm in this small little one room building that is school. it is just us kids and a few teachers. i'm still clutching my locket and sitting on the floor in front of this bench thingy and thinking...i want my matches cds. the world is going to end in a matter of minutes and i know that is the only thing that could even begin to comfort me.
and then it is time. it is dark outside, no stars, nothing. we all watch out the window to see what our fate will be...if this is really true. there is this flash and then we know that is it. some teacher is like "let's try the door. that's the only way we will know." somehow if the door will open, the world hasn't ended. and if it won't budge, well you get the point. so the teacher goes to the door and it won't open. this overwhelming feeling takes over me. it can't be described.
and then some boy is yanking at the door and i'm on my feet. and he's yanking and yanking...and then it cracks open. in a rush, without even thinking, i'm out the door and running with all i have in me. i hear the door slam and i see a few other people around me. and we are running and running and running over these hills with no trees in sight.
and all of a sudden, lights appear in perfect little lines. we all stop and stare. they are like lines of fireflys. and they are all around us. and i realize daniel is to my side. it is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in my life. daniel is like "what are those?" and i respond "they are souls." and there are thousands and thousands, never ending lines of beautiful lights, of beautiful souls. heading in the opposite direction as we are. daniel makes the comment "well, that goes against any religious belief i've ever heard. but i'll except it." and the lines of light move to the building we were in, and as it passes over, more lights join.
we begin to walk again and end up in a little area. aaren is there, ryann, and a few other people. all together there are six of us and someone else in the outskirts. and i think how we are the only survivors...that there must be more. and i watch the beautiful lights fly over the hills.
and i awake.
i always try to find the meaning in my dreams. i read something about the world ending in 2012 a few weeks ago. maybe? and i wake up this morning and it is july 12. i realize today would have been iboo's birthday. come september 13 iboo will have been gone two years. perhaps a little of both then?
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