i'm just whispering to myself, so i can't pretend that i don't know...honey, you are on my mind...

the last thursday of may:

we sat there, blinking
through the shades of our friends,
catching glimpses in the style
of deep sea divers.

we grasped each others' fevers
and i found myself secretly
begging time to ignore all our plans.

all i had kept my own for eight months
was silenty seeping
outside of my blue jean dress
and struggling to find a path into your eyes.

for a while i forgot sharing beds
and pulsatings and hushed tears.
you were just a boy making jokes
about the paleness of my skin.

but we knew so much had changed
and i told myself
of a hundred "this time last year"s
when we had been daring and fresh
and far too young to face our truths.
i needed to run into those promising arms
that fit so well,
but i only sat there, blinking.